Hi guys

I wanted to blog, but I’m not sure what about. I guess I’ll just write what I’ve been up to.

Things haven’t been too interesting, to be honest. My dad and Kayleigh got back from Newquay on Sunday so it’s been nice to see them and spend time with them. It was getting excruciatingly boring on my own, though it was lovely to have a bit of piece and quiet, and not have anyone to mess up the house *ho hum*

I worked Saturday and Sunday. The shop has been quite busy just lately. That’s probably because of the amount of rain though, and everyone wants massive waterproof coats!

Yesterday I had a driving lesson. It went quite well. I like driving. I really do. Dear god this isn’t very coherent… meh. I’m rambling.

This morning I had a doctor’s appointment to "review" my meds. They haven’t done much for me to be honest, and if anything have made me feel much worse. I asked to be taken off them, so have to start reducing my dose, cos apparently its not good to just stop anti-depressants "cold turkey". Oh well. So I’m gonna start reducing my dose tomorrow, and shall hopefully be able to wean myself off of them soon. I spent pretty much the rest of the day ploughing my way through a pile of ironing and playing mind-numbing games online.

I have to work tomorrow :( I hate working during the week, it’s so tiring. Enrolment days at my new college are on Thursday and Friday, so I have to go to either of them. Bleh. Its tiring just think about it. It’s tiring just thinking about starting a new college. I did think about giving up my place at my new college at one point, but really, it shouldn’t be a consideration. No. It really shouldn’t. *rolls eyes*

My dad and I have been discussing plans for my 18^th birthday (53 days, guys!). I wasn’t going to do anything. I dunno. Maybe go out for a meal with my family or whatever. My dad suggested having a party. I’m not too keen on the idea, but my great uncle Pete wants to do the music and stuff (he does "DJ’ing") and it would be nice to celebrate being 18 and not just be boring about it, cos I’d probably regret it if I didn’t celebrate. So we’re trying to organise the party for the 20^th October (which is 8 days after my actual birthday, but my uncle couldn’t do the 13^th, the Saturday after my birthday) so the plan at the mo is to go for a meal on Friday the 12^th (my actual birthday) then have the party a week after. We’ll see if the plans actually come together though… ho hum.

Anywho, I suppose I should go to bed. This turned into quite a pointless, annoying ramble.

Na night

Sarah x

Cont...

Pasaje de Terror. Now that was the scariest thing I have ever experienced. It’s a different kind of fear to having bad dreams or from the thought of exams or to being shouted at by your mum of whatever. It’s a horrible fear and I never want to experience that kind of fear ever again. Me and Lee stood for a while watching the screens outside, which showed people leaving the "maze" being all scared and stuff, and we waited for some other people to come and join us, and decided that if someone else came in with us, we’d go in too. Sooo… a group of 6 people came a long and joined the queue. It was a scam cos me and Lee paid £6 each where as they only paid £4 cos they were in such a big group. Whilst we were queuing, another boy ("the boy") came up and joined the queue also. Before we knew it, we were entering the maze and being briefed on safety things etc. The first bit was TERRIBLE. The poor unfortunate soul that was "the boy" that was behind me and Lee had to listen to us squeal, swear, breathe like astronauts and listen to Lee scream every now and again "SARAH!!! FEEL MY HEART!!!" The poor unfortunate soul that was "the boy" somehow just glided through with a motionless expression, even when he was being chased by people that had popped out from random curtains or cages. Me and Lee were screaming our heads off and hanging onto the girls in front of us, and I have bruises on my arms today where Lee was squeezing me so tight, haha. There was a girl on a moving bed like on the Exorcist, and she threw herself off of it onto the floor and crawled after the poor unfortunate soul that was "the boy" like the girl in The Ring. At one point the lights went off and a man pounced out with a mask with spikes sticking out of it. I’ve never screamed so loud in my life. Near the end, there was a man with a chainsaw chasing us, which was just OH MY GOD-ish. The maze finished in an unsuspecting café of people. They must have got the shock of their lives when me and Lee burst through the door ready to pass out, gripping each other so hard you’d think we were *actually* attached to each other.

Haha. ‘Twas ace, anyway.

After the Scare Fest, we left the park and began the 300-mile walk back to the train station. We were gonna go for fish and chips but I got side tracked by a Mystical Palm Reading woman in a booth (though it did take me about 20 mins to decide whether I was going to go in or not). What a waste of £5! She was called something-or-other Lavinia, but we spent the train ride home slagging her off and using various names such as Madam Whiplash, Mistress Lavinia, Dominatrix Lavinia and Lady Lavinia. She said I was going to do well on my exams, which I know for a fact I haven’t. She said someone in my family was a nurse, when no one actually is. She said someone child minds, when they don’t. She said my lucky number is 9 and anything with a number 9 in it will bring luck (to begin with, my mum died on the 19^th April…) She said someone had upset me in the past (bullying) but I was going to be okay. She said I had a boy in my life at the moment, or two, and was going to be very happy with him. What other shit did she sprout? Hmm, I should have recorded it.

Anyways, we continued our journey, and then got distracted by a tattoo place… Hmm… haha. WE went in, and I had decided earlier that day that I’d like a butterfly on my wrist. We looked at the butterflies and stuff, and asked how much it would cost etc. and I went to a cash machine down what we called Brothel Lane (it was a £1.75 withdrawal charge!!! Thieving gets. The machine might as well have been wearing a balacalava), withdrew money and before I knew it I was sat in front of a man whilst he drew all over my wrist. It didn’t hurt, it just stung a bit. It hurt when he was doing the bottom of the wings though towards my hand, like, near the joints. Lee sat in with me and held my hand, and I wasn’t looking, and the first time I looked I kind of screamed "OH MY GOD! I’M BLEEDING!" cos I didn’t know having a tattoo made you bleed. I have a picture, but it looks more like a moth on the picture cos I had to take it with my camcorder thingo.

At the moment, it’s got a black outline, which is thicker in some parts, and a slight bit of shading on its wings so it didn’t look too plain. As sick as it sounds, when it was red and had a pinkish tint to it, I liked it, so I may get some pink put into it. But I dunno yet. I’m gonna wait ‘til its healed properly and see if I still love it the way it is, and of course wait ‘til I’m 18. But the man who did it was awesomely nice and lovely and put me right at ease.

After leaving the tattoo thingi and admiring my tattoo, we ran 100 miles (well, caught a cab) to the train station and make it on time for the train (thank god!)

Whilst on the train, we entertained ourselves by phoning our friends that we knew at school to tell them I’d had a butterfly tattooed on my flaps (do not ASK!) and Lee had had an anchor tattooed on his wrist. Haha. They wanted us to send them a picture, and obviously I could send one of mine, but not Lee’s, so we drew an anchor on with pen, and send them a pic of that, LOL. We then spent a while writing notes about stuff I needed to include in my blog

So it was an interesting day! I enjoyed all of it, and came home with a pretty cool souvenir

Wow! What a day! It was so amazingly interesting and, shall we say, eventful.

Lee and I spent the train journey home writing a list of the things I needed to include in my blog.

*DISCLAIMER* Um, some of the distances in this blog may be exaggerated just a little… Also contains quite foul language, sorry!

So, my day started at 6am today. I set my alarm for 6, thinking if I got up then I’d have time to get ready, make sure I didn’t forget anything and be able to do some house stuffs before I left. That, however, was not the case. I some how managed to fall back to sleep and woke up at 6.35 absolutely crapping myself cos I thought I was gonna be responsible for us missing our 7.59 train! By some miracle, I was ready within 25 mins, but I missed the 7am bus (grrr) so had to wait for the 7.15 (thank GOD the buses were running at 15 min intervals, and not 30 mins!).

Anyways, I met Lee at the train station and we began our journey. We had three changes to get to Blackpool (Sheffield, Stockport and Preston) but we managed to entertain ourselves. We sang random songs, danced to Footloose and Rhianna’s Umbrella, began what would become a famous "LEE/SARAH, HIGH FIVE!"

The first interesting thing that happened was an obnoxious horrible ticket conductor who was really horrible to this Jewish man because his English wasn’t very good. The man asked, in very broken English, how long it would take to get to Penrith. The conductor replied very rudely A LONG TIME. So I spoke to the man and asked him where he was going, then ask the conductor how long it would take, and he told me and I told the Jewish man. I think he was really confused about everything though – it must be horrible to have people talk down to you or ignore you because you’re not very good at a language. I was disgusted by how rude the conductor was, not only to the Jewish man but to other passengers also.

Anyways, enough of that. During the travelling on the second train, Lee got his head sandwiched between a man and the automatic door. It was SO funny and I’ve never laughed so hard. Ever. It was hilarious. It was so amusing. After we left that train, Lee decided 10 minutes before the train was due that he needed the toilet, so we had to trek to the other side of the station and back again, and as soon as Lee entered the toilet, the train pulled into the station. We had to leg it back to the other side when he came back out, so we made it on time for the train.

We finally after much ado reached Blackpool North Station at around 11.45. We had a one hundred-mile trek in treacherous windy rainy weather along Death Road to the Pleasure Beach. Life would have been made SO much easier if we’d’ve got a tram to the park, but oh well. During this walk, we took many photos (Lee’s gonna send me them tomorrow!) and I developed a strange NEED for fish and chips (which I didn’t actually get in the end. Waaaah).

Eventually we made it a live to the Pleasure Beach at 12.30ish, where we stayed til around 6. The rides we went on were (in no particular order):

• Big Dipper (interesting… the "bar" thingi was about a meter above Lee’s leg.)
• Infusion (which was AMAZING!!!)
• Irn Bru (or Death Drop)
• Space Invader 2 (which we queued for about 8 hours, then the ride lasted 30 seconds. And wasn’t even then exciting. It wasn’t worth queuing for either. There were also these little chavs in front of us, who kept staring as us, and I dipped my fingers in my Irn Bru and flicked them at one of the chavs neck, and did my ace theatrical sneeze. It was FUNNY).
• Steeple Chase (where you sit on a horse – you can have two to a horse – and race the adjacent peoples. We named our horse Cock and took to spanking it every now and again, and funnily enough, we won the race!)
• Wild Mouse (which IS bloody wild. It’s old and rickety and you get thrown around, but it was amusing to listen to Lee scream like a girl)
• Beaver Creek the Ride (a log flume thingi. It was fun. This is where the Ferret/Beaver face originated. Basically, we bared our teeth and put our hands up like paws and bit our lips. It’s hard to explain… 90 %of you just tried that, right? We spent this ride singing "Build me up Buttercup" which is mine and Lee’s special song from school, a long with… some Jungle Book song)
• Ghost Train (which triggered childhood memories of when I lost my hat on that ride that I had completely forgotten about!)
• Impossible (half a mirror maze, half where you sit on this thing and the room turns so it looks like you’re going upside down. I came off this feeling extremely sick, even though it was in the child’s rides…)
• Trauma Towers (which WAS traumatising! You were on this thingi, and it span round and round and jumped and you got sprayed with water and stuff. When we got off, the little girl next to us had been sick, so we were considering getting back ON the ride to see if it actually *was* water that sprayed us. Ho hum)
• The toboggan thingi, that I don’t remember the name of and can’t find it on the website, which was just IMMENSE.
• Pasaje de Terror (which WAS TERRIFYING. But will write about that further down…)

I wanted to go on the Alice in Wonderland ride, but Lee wouldn’t let me  We also wanted to go on Pepsi Max, but it was closed due to high winds.

What else did we do? Oh yeah, there were also numerous drinks consumed and toilet visits from me. In fact, there were so many, it did get rather annoying. Lee also found that I some homw managed to spit all over him when I got over excited, LOL (sorry!)

We went back on the Beaver Creek ride to film it and sing into the camera. Lee’s gonna send me that also. We spent every ride that we went on attempting to get our beaver/ferret face in the ride photographs, but were unsuccessful in ALL of them, especially the toboggan one.

Anyway, I shall do part 2 tomorrow. I’m really tired, I’m actually starting to feel dizzy from the tiredness.

Good night!

It’s late again. 1.57am, actually.

I can’t sleep. Again. What a surprise.

Well, the past few days have been ridiculously unproductive. I worked yesterday. I’m working again tomorrow. On Tuesday I had a driving lesson. On Monday I had the self harm group thingi, then Em came to see me. We went out to eat, then came back to mine and played with my new camcorder :oD I’m in LOVE with it, and its PINK!

Today I spent most of the day (well, the time that wasn’t spent being asleep, meh) making a video. It took a stupidly long time to change my outfits and shoes and socks and tights etc. and took ages to edit also, cos the programme I was using kept closing, grrr. Anyways, here’s the link to the video! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJR8xc1gCow Go watch! GO WATCH!!!

I guess I really should go to bed, seeing as I need to be up for work in 6 hours time. I’m blaming the lack of sleep on sleeping too much during the day today, and forgetting to take my meds (but they give me horrible insomnia anyway. Bleh) *yawnage*

 Good night!

Dear Brain,

Why on earth won’t you let me sleep? It’s 3.45am. I’m annoyingly tired. Please shut up. I don’t want to think about my mum, I would like a dream-free night, and I would like to wake up in the morning feeling un-tired so I’m not tetchy tomorrow. Could you also stop PMS'ing, cos that just doesn't improve matters at all.

I would also like you to stop thinking about his hidden agendas, because you’re being paranoid and there probably are none. It would be nice if you could stop associating the things he did/said/wore with the things Liam did/said/wore.

Brain, you are such a fish cake sometimes. Instead of sitting at the computer typing a drunken ramble when you’re not even drunk and singing along to songs from High School Musical at the top of your voice, you should take your body to bed and watch a DVD and I just hope you switch off before I have to get up for work.

So please, Brain, just be quiet and stop thinking for a while. Please?

Yours frustratingly,

Sarah

Yo yo yoooo

I was going to leave it a week between each blog entry, but ten I thought "I’m bored. I feel like writing. I’ll write in my bloggy thingi" so here I am!

Don’t you think its strange when you feel like writing, then when it comes to writing, you actually have nothing to write about? I just got that feeling now. So I’m just going to ramble about random things.

Lets see. My dad and Kayleigh have gone away in the caravan to Newquay for 2 weeks, so I’m pretty much on my own for the next 13 days! (they left yesterday). I’m bored, and there’s nothing to do, and to be honest, even the internet gets boring after a while. So instead, I’m spending fun-filled (you’re joking, right?) days at work! The only bonus about this is the wage I’ll get at the end of the month… Its been like a microwave in the shop for the past couple of days cos the air conditioning decided it was going to BREAK, so we can only have it on for a limited amount of time before it starts spitting water everywhere. Hmm. Today I spent a lot of the day just laughing hysterically. Luke, someone I work with, makes me laugh lots, even if he is damn annoying sometimes and just totally destroys the shop (but that’s another story for another day ) Today I was attacked by a roll mat and a sleeping bag, and let me tell you, roll mats bloody HURT. I was also rugby tackled in the back of the shop, but that was just hilariously funny.

So, I work at a shopping outlet in Doncaster. Here’s some facts about it (because you’re oh so interested):

• The outlet has 48 outlet shops, and first opened in 1996.
• In October 2003, the outlet changed its name as part of a major remodelling and relaunch project.
• It’s estimated that 2.8 million people visit each year.
• The whole centre is on one level, giving easy access to wheelchairs and pushchairs.
• The average length of stay is 68 minutes.

(Thanks to the website of where I work for this information)

What else do I have to say?

My friend Em is coming to stay here tomorrow night, which should be nice cos I haven’t seen her for a while and I miss miss miss her lots and lots.

Anyways, that’s all I think. I’m tired – this stupid medication knocks me out.

Shall leave you with some random bodily facts :-D

• Women blink almost twice as much as men.
• It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
• On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens each year.
• Your nose and ears never stop growing.
• You’re more likely to have a bad dream if you sleep in a cold room

• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee (hardly worth it, to be honest...)

• The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue

And that’s all I can be bothered to find…

See ya! x

PS. I've been writing these entries on MS word, then copying and pasting, which is why there are no typos and lots of captial letters!

Yes yes, I really suck at this blog stuff. I should write here more often, shouldn’t I?

Okay, you’re probably wondering what I’ve been up to since last time I posted (which was just basically an introduction post anyway, but whatever Trevor). Lets see. As I said on the "News" page, I did an interview for Real Radio on Sunday morning/afternoon. T’was quite exciting! They seem to call me every time something about bullying comes up in the news. This time it was about "happy slapping" videos being posted on video posting websites (why doesn’t spell checker recognise websites?) such as YouTube and Bebo. My views were basically its up to the website to take off any videos that are offensive or not of suitable nature for websites used by under 18s, and videos should be monitored regularly and checked before they’re posted officially. Of course this would take too much time and websites aren’t willing to pay people to sit and watch videos all day, so that’s probably why videos like this still exist in cyber world *shrug*

Apart from that, I haven’t done much else. I started driving lessons back at the end of June, which are going really well at the mo. My instructor wants to put me in for my theory test soon, after I’ve finished working through some discs he leant me. I’m feeling a bit iffy about the driving side of things, cos I seemed to mess up royally yesterday (I was going over a busy bridge in town, and stopped at traffic lights, stalled the car, started the engine and stalled it again) so that kind of knocked my confidence a bit *rolls eyes*

I’ve also been thinking about Anti-Bullying week this week (its in November, though I’m not sure what the dates are) and what I can do. I did consider going to my local primary school and asking if maybe I could talk to the students there, but I think that might be a bit scary for me to do! But then I thought… Theres a chance that what I say may make a difference and encourage students who are being bullied to speak out? I dunno. I’ve also been wanting to make a bullying video to post on YouTube, but I need my little sister and her friend to model some bullying scenes for me! The photos of bullying on google appear in EVERY YouTube bullying video that exists, which is frustrating, so I want to create my own. The only thing is, my sister is always too busy to help me, though she said she’s willing to *groan*

I have been making a few videos lately. The other day I made one in memory of my mum, which can be seen by clicking here. I don’t like the disc slip thing at the beginning being over the first couple of photos, but I don’t have the patience to edit that at the mo, so it’ll have to wait I’m afraid!

Anyway, I thought to finish the entry I’d post a few things about "Smiling"

Smiling involves flexing muscles at both sides of the mouth. It is usually a sign of pleasure, amusement or happiness. It can also be an involuntary sign of anxiety, also known as a grimace. Some animals can be mistaken to be smiling when they show their teeth, when in actually fact they’re snarling (My dog smiles! It’s definitely not a snarl)

There are two types of smile:

The "Duchenne smile", the most studied type of smile, is named after the researcher Guillaume Duchenne. It involved the use of muchles around the mouth and eyes. Its believed this type of smile is only produced as the result of a genuine emotion. You can tell whether a smile is genuine or not by studying whether the smile "reaches the eyes".

The second type of smile is the "Pan American smile". It’s a voluntary smile only involving the muscles around the mouth and is usually used to show politeness. People often refer to this type of smile as being insincere.

(Thanks to Wikipedia for this information, though I've re-written it myself!)