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Stop Bullying Now!

Improving your confidence

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Confidence in the key to
Unfortunately, there's not an instruction manual I can give to you and say "Here, read this, it's how to be confident." However, I can give you a few tips I have used myself or have read about in the past. Confidence is a vital personality trait. Most highly successful people are confident. I mean, what would they do without the confidence they have, hey? It's easier to gain confidence then you may think! These tips may not work for everyone.
  1. Act Confident. Even if you aren't feeling confident, the key is to act confident. Pretend you feel great about yourself. Stand up tall, head held high, and smile! Don't stress if you do something wrong, or if people see you do something wrong - they're people too, they also make mistakes. The chances are, they also worry about the same day-to-day things, such as themselves doing something wrong or making a fool of themselves. Chill out! Relax. Do what ever makes you feel comfortable. Besides, the more you fake it, the more likely you are to always do it, and therefore be more confident!
  2. Always be true to yourself. This sounds like some kind of cheesy song, I know, but keep your eyes open for your own thoughts and feelings. There's not much point walking around being one thing, but feeling totally different. I know that's a complete contridiction on what I've said so far, but you have to remember confidence isn't who you are, but how you project yourself. It doesn't matter what label you have; confidence is your body language and your attitude saying "This is who I am and I'm absolutely fine with that." There's one general thing to remember. If you act like its true, people will believe that! No 17-year-old who's been beaten down by peers for years and years will act confident, right? People will assume that other people have treated you well because they liked you, and that is the reason why you're so confident.
  3. Try not to take everything personally. Even the people who may seem the most confident people in the world still have times when they don't feel confident - hey, who knows, they could be reading and article teaching them how to be confident right now! Don't let someone else spoil your day. Don't let yourself be provoked and don't respond to negative feelings. Try and think positive to keep your emotions up to scratch.
  4. You're not the only one who gets rejected! Only the "me me me" type people will think they're not gunna get rejected at any point in their life, but they will. Knowing how to be confident is easier when you accept others face and deal with the same situations. Rod Stewart, a successful singer/songwriter, was rejected several times. He didn't give up and is now rice and famous! If you want to learn to be confident, you have to learn how to deal with rejection.
  5. Don't give up. Things are just going to turn fairy-like over night, you have to work and try until you reach the point you wanna be at. As the saying goes "If at first you don't succeed, try again." If things don't go the way you planned, try an alternative. It's a great way to improve self-confidence as you face new challenges.
  6. Work with your inner voice. People who are less confident in themselves, often have an inner voice telling them what an awful person they are. If you have this problem, tell your inner voice the opposite. Tell it "no, I'm not a horrible person." If you take the time to examine the thoughts in your head, you can work with your inner voice and become more confident by agreeing with the good things it says about you, and arguing against the horrible.
  7. Increase interactions with positive people. The more time you spent with positive people, the more likely you are to become confident yourself. Take every oppurtunity you have to soak up the positive vibes from other people. Let confident people be your role model - a characteristic you'd like to have. People who influence you to speak your wings and go for what you wish will do you the world of good.
  8. Buy a notebook. Keep a diary and keep track of your positive thoughts. I got this from another website: Make a table with four columns. The first column is for listing any negative thoughts that you have. In the second, write a corresponding feeling. For example, if someone said the negative thought to you, how would you feel? In the third column, write the trigger. What triggered you to feel like that? Did you do something to remind you that you don't like yourself? When you start to understand the trigger, it will boost your confidence alot more, because you'll have different coping mechinisms and you may be able to avoid the trigger. Write in the last column the truth of the situation. Did you really fail, or did you just not do as well as you were hoping? Examine your feelings, triggers and negitives, then look deeply into them and convert them into something good. If you repeat this exercise often enough, it should start to take effect very soon. It helps you to see the bigger picture.

If you have any of your own tips you'd like to me add her, please email me at

SBN 2005 - 2008